CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THIS?

The premise behind this blog was to write only when wasted off of at least 120oz of beer.

Can you believe I actually had three 40oz of beer tonight? This is a rare occurrence. Do the math. That is 120 oz! Dude, sweet.

So the pressure to write about something important is mesmerizing and terrifying. Okay, let's do the rant typical to this blog.

Why I hate infomercials:

The actors hired for infomercials are fucking stupid. I feel like the directors or casting people look for the most fugly ass mother fuckers on the street and say, "Hey, want to make 10 dollars?" And these gross ass fuckers say, "YES!" From weight loss to diabetes, informercials are just fucking stupid. I can't imagine the kind of person who would be swayed by this. Like, OMG a six pack by just sitting in my couch watching the Kardashians? I'm fucking over it.

William Mark Russell exclaims, "Have you or have not you doesn't take any mo' then not mo'?"

Well said Jedi!

I heard fat people have small penises. Jabba disagrees.